How I choose: I start with about 400 tweets that I’ve retweeted (I retweet what makes me laugh or makes me nod my head “Yes!”). I narrow that list down to about about 50-100 and give it to Steve (my husband), he narrows it down by at least half and I pick the 10 funniest from those. I only choose tweets tweeted during the month of October from people I follow and only one tweet chosen per person. I also include one of my own, so I can say that I’ve been on a list someplace with totally hilarious people.
If you’re on Twitter, show them you like their tweets by clicking on their retweet or star button, or by following them. They are FUNNY!
I’m white but not drink pumpkin beer white… Yes I am
— Mags (@magsaidwhat) October 3, 2013
Passing on the gym today. Feeling lazier than the guy who drew the Japanese flag. — Charles John (@INeed_AnAdult) October 5, 2013
Just overheard a grandmother talking about her daughter’s struggles with a breast pump and how do you get vomit out of a sweatshirt?
— Kalvin Macleod (@KalvinMacleod) October 7, 2013
Me: hello I’ve run out of toilet paper Front desk: oh I’m sorry for the inconvenience Me: oh no worries, but I’ve also run out of towels — Canadian Makin™ (@canadian_makin) October 9, 2013
Do you ever poop out at parties?… and by that I mean poop your pants??
— Eve (@lovemydogduck) October 9, 2013
Calling a freaking mushroom cap an appetizer is like calling a turd… An appetizer. — Grumble (@wisemanirrvrent) October 11, 2013
Does my head in this Taco flavor Doritos bag make me look fat?
— AnotherBottleofWhine (@KateWhineHall) October 11, 2013
35% of the entries on my bucket list, in some way, involve sweatpants — Evan Fabri (@BlindVigil) October 17, 2013
Mission Impossible music, but for when my boss walks in immediately I after I picked my nose and the boogie is still on my finger
— Paper Wash© (@PaperWash) October 18, 2013
Well, I guess I can cross ‘farted in a zip lock bag’ off my bucket list
— superman (@MrSandeepP) October 18, 2013
The high temperature today was 44 degrees. The low was eating a piece of Shredded Wheat I just found in the couch.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) October 23, 2013
These people are hilarious! All of these tweets made me laugh. How about you? Tell me in the comments.