I took the 6,000 tweets I retweeted this month and with the help of my husband, Steve, and my friend, Jeff of Jeff & Jill Went Up the Hill, we narrowed the list down to the 10 funniest tweeted during the month of December. Then I included one of my own to make it 11 because narcissist. Check it out!
Show these hilarious people your appreciation via RETWEET (people love to be RT’d), star or follow.
ME: I have good news & bad news WIFE: Bad news first M: The penguin pooped in the tub W: We don't own a- M: *smiling* And now the good news
— Floyd (@dafloydsta) December 2, 2015
Me to my 12yo "By the way, I'm chaperoning your school dance tomorrow night." *gently lays out MC Hammer pants and starts quad stretches*
— One Classy Motha (@MothaKim) December 4, 2015
one door closes another opens one door closes another opens one door closes another opens - me eating through a chocolate advent calendar
— mark (@TheCatWhisprer) December 4, 2015
I'm not a doctor, nor do I play one on TV, plus I live under a bridge and I just got arrested for pooping on the floor at Walmart again.
— Doctor Happyknuckles (@drhappyknuckles) December 5, 2015
The main difference between men and women is women can remember the backstory for every Christmas decoration and I want to watch football.
— Kalvin (@KalvinMacleod) December 6, 2015
"When you hate yourself" should be a serving size
— Dumb Beezie (@dumbbeezie) December 9, 2015
My daughter just referred to N'Sync as 'oldies' music and I laughed so hard I spilled wine all over my walker.
— FleurDeLea (@Celestinelea90) December 12, 2015
DON'T TOUCH ME! AND YOU'RE BREATHING WRONG! STOP IT! -wives, on their period Or if they're hungry. Or if you are actually breathing wrong.
— Wicked Jen (@wickedsuga) December 13, 2015
As long as you say Venti and not large, you can order a mocha Ralph Macchio at Starbucks and they'll ask you if you want whipped cream on it
— Pugnado (@LuvPug) December 15, 2015
[the last supper] Judas: split the check evenly? I only had bread Jesus: oh, here we go
— Grant Tanaka (@GrantTanaka) December 18, 2015
Gave our gerbil a piece of kale from the garden. Now it's complaining about gluten and begging for its own little pair of Uggs.
— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) December 28, 2015
All of these tweets made me laugh. How about you?
Links to previous Top 10 Funniest Tweets lists:
Want to read some of the funniest tweets about parenting from some of the funniest parents on Twitter? Check out The Bigger Book of Parenting Tweets, available on Amazon. Or the original, The Big Book of Parenting Tweets.