Check out the top 10 funniest tweets of January! I took the 5,000 tweets I retweeted this month and with the help of my husband, Steve, and my friend, Jeff of Jeff & Jill Went Up the Hill, we narrowed the list down to the 10 funniest tweeted during the month of January. Then I included one of my own to make it 11 because… narcissist. Check it out!
Show these hilarious people your appreciation via RETWEET (people love to be RT’d), star or follow.
7: remember yesterday when I creamed you at Mario Kart?
Me: Remember yesterday when I tied my own shoes and didn't have to get my mom?
— Stacey Sordahl (@DrunkAtThePTA) January 5, 2016
Good news…we're leaving to go out for dinner as soon as my wife decides if she wants to wear a hat or a headband.
*dies from starvation*
— KC of TX (@kcmoore51) January 10, 2016
IT'S A THERMAL BASE LAYER!!
I shout over the sounds of my daughters singing, "daddy's wearing tights!"
— Simon Holland (@simoncholland) January 10, 2016
I haven't tried heroin, but I imagine the rush is like remembering I have pie in the fridge.
— Amy Dillon (@amydillon) January 12, 2016
WHERE MY BITCHES AT?!!!
is apparently not how we should round up the Kindergartners on this field trip.
— CrazyExhaustion (@CrazyExhaustion) January 14, 2016
If you watch "My Cousin Vinny" 12 times in a calendar year, you receive a law degree from the University of Phoenix.
— Gian D'Oh (@GianDoh) January 23, 2016
New relationship: You should leave now. I have to use the powder room.
Marriage: Hey, could you bring me up a burrito? I'm on the toilet.
— Linda (@LindaInDisguise) January 23, 2016
You might be white if you call it a vacation when you leave your 3,000 sq ft home to sleep in the dirt and pee on a tree.
— Poison (@perchicoree) January 27, 2016
I would pay extra for a dental hygienist who was comfortable with silence.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) January 28, 2016
Dad, is that you?
W-A-N-T A W-E-R-T-H-E-R-S-?
Oh, hi grandma.
— Troy Johnson (@_troyjohnson) January 29, 2016
I just left all my kids alone at the breakfast table downstairs. It sounds like a scene from Lord of the Flies. I think the table's on fire.
— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) January 30, 2016
All of these tweets made me laugh. How about you?
Links to previous Top 10 Funniest Tweets lists:
Want to read some of the funniest tweets about parenting from some of the funniest parents on Twitter? Check out The Bigger Book of Parenting Tweets, available on Amazon. Or the original, The Big Book of Parenting Tweets.