Check out the top 10 funniest tweets of March! I looked at all the tweets I retweeted this month and with the help of my husband, Steve, and my friend, Jeff of Jeff & Jill Went Up the Hill, we narrowed the list down to the 10 funniest tweeted during the month of March. Then I included one of my own to make it 11 because… narcissist. Check it out!
Show these hilarious people your appreciation via RETWEET (people love to be RT’d), star or follow.
How to put on deodorant:
1. Apply deodorant.
2. Wait two seconds.
3. Try and remember if you put on deodorant.
4. Reapply deodorant.
— Abby Heugel (@AbbyHasIssues) March 2, 2016
[Morgan Freeman narrating my life]
*extended period of silence*
"What the hell am I supposed to do with this…"
— Super Randomish (@SuperRandomish) March 7, 2016
I'm on the snake diet. It's the one where you lie on the floor all day, eat 25% of your body weight, and hiss at anyone who comes near you.
— Ashley Austrew (@ashleyaustrew) March 9, 2016
*Opens dryer, beer koozie falls out
There you are buddy. I've been looking everywhere for you. Don't do that to me.
*Closes full dryer
— BornHusky (@dlockw21) March 12, 2016
Makes one appointment for the week.
— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) March 14, 2016
5yo: Just one more question before I go to bed.
5yo: What are the lines on your forehead for?
5yo: Now they look angry.
— Paige Kellerman (@PaigeKellerman) March 15, 2016
The new Indiana Jones movie is just Harrison Ford figuring out how to use the self checkout at the store and then paying with a cheque.
— Chocolate Moose (@moose_chocolate) March 16, 2016
Does anyone have an ACME catalog I can borrow? I need to paint a tunnel on the wall to escape this boring meeting.
— Julia Gulia (@JRobb773) March 16, 2016
Brie is my favorite cheese that sounds like a white girl you meet for a mani/pedi while drinking Chardonnay & quoting "Mean Girls."
— Tony (@Tmoney68) March 17, 2016
"You're right, this is super hard. Do you wanna go get a milkshake or something?" –me as a personal trainer.
— Jenn CoCo (@jscrapsmua) March 22, 2016
Parents tell you their baby's weight because they have no other information. They can't say "Meet Jim, a free spirit who's into yodeling."
— Shari VanderWerf (@shariv67) March 23, 2016
All of these tweets made me laugh. How about you?
Links to previous Top 10 Funniest Tweets lists:
Want to read some of the funniest tweets about parenting from some of the funniest parents on Twitter? Check out The Bigger Book of Parenting Tweets, available on Amazon. Or the original, The Big Book of Parenting Tweets.