Check out the top 10 funniest tweets of October! I gathered all the tweets I retweeted this month and with the help of my friend Jeff of Jeff & Jill Went Up the Hill, we narrowed the list down to the 10 funniest. Then I included one of my own to make it 11 because… narcissist. Check it out!
Sees kids selling popcorn in front of grocery store.
Drives three miles to a different grocery store.
— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) October 8, 2016
Just ordered "coffee" off the Starbucks secret menu.
— Woody (@WoodyLuvsCoffee) October 8, 2016
If you're having a bad day, remember that somewhere, someone just "Liked" Mucinex on Facebook.
— Donna Macabre (@Donna_McCoy) October 11, 2016
"What should we call ourselves?"
How about 22 pilots?
"Idk. Seems like an awful lot of pilots"
— Steve Suckington (@SteveSuckington) October 12, 2016
Me: Sure, I'd love to go to your baby shower!
Morgan Freeman: And so began the series of lies.
— Rusty Shackleford (@ThisLocalHater) October 12, 2016
My anger toward health insurance companies burns like the fire of 1000 suns.
Health Insurance Companies: That condition isn't covered.
— Housewife of Hell (@HousewifeOfHell) October 17, 2016
This morning my daughter slammed down the toilet seat and sighed so hard she became a woman.
— stabbatha christy (@LoveNLunchmeat) October 19, 2016
When it's finally time to leave work so you can go home and take your bra off. pic.twitter.com/exqk7tbKm1
— 🔥 (@Sassafrantz) October 20, 2016
If you say "Pumpkin Spice" 3 times in the mirror, the ghost of a white girl will appear and ask if your soul is locally sourced.
— Nacho Khan (@allthenachos) October 24, 2016
*opens kitchen drawer*
Me: Whoa, what's with all the whisks?
Sir-Mix-a-Lot: Why you judgin me?
— H2OSkier (@ClichedOut) October 25, 2016
My son cuddled up to my bump and was talking about how he could see the baby and it would have been cute if I were pregnant.
— Mommy Cusses (@mommy_cusses) October 26, 2016
All of these tweets made me laugh. How about you?
Links to previous Top 10 Funniest Tweets lists:
Want to read some of the funniest tweets about parenting from some of the funniest parents on Twitter? Check out The Bigger Book of Parenting Tweets, available on Amazon. Or the original, The Big Book of Parenting Tweets.