Check out the top 15 funniest tweets of October! I gathered all the tweets I retweeted this month and narrowed the list down to the 15 funniest. Then I included one of my own to make it 16 because…narcissist. Check it out!
trainer: Remember, take smaller bites when you're eating so your brain knows when you're full
[cut to me very slowly eating an entire cake]
— Josh (@iwearaonesie) October 4, 2017
I told my husband I didn’t want a grilled cheese when he was making one and now I want a grilled cheese. What do I do?
— EricaTriesToTrick (@EricaWhoToYou) October 5, 2017
WOW THIS ONE TASTES LIKE WINE TOO. I'M LIKE 5 FOR 5 NOW. KEEP 'EM COMIN'!
— Gian D'Oh (@GianDoh) October 6, 2017
The only thing missing from this state fair is anyone who's ever taken a bath in their life.
— Bruhhhhsephus (@datdbag) October 8, 2017
Waiter: "Would you like a side salad with that?"
Me: "Do you guys have side cake here or…?"
— TheMotherOctopus (@MotherOctopusKJ) October 10, 2017
Math: 1 + 1 = 2
Common Core: Hold my beer.
— HowToBeADad (@HowToBeADad) October 10, 2017
*At Sears buying a refrigerator*
ME: Can this be controlled via the internet?
SALESMAN: What's an internet?
— Woody Loves Coffins (@WoodyLuvsCoffee) October 13, 2017
Danny: I got chills, there multiplying.
— Jawbreaker 👻🎃💀 (@sixfootcandy) October 13, 2017
Hey guy with hydration pack, 2 hiking sticks & North Face vest; my 5 yr old walked the same trail in Crocs carrying a naked Barbie. Relax.
— Jack Boot (@IamJackBoot) October 17, 2017
Me: Bedtime in 5 minutes!
8yo: *Begins the single most complicated crafting project of her lifetime thus far*
— SpacedMom (@copymama) October 17, 2017
REESE WITHERSPOON: Hooray, I’m gonna have cereal!
REESE WITHOUTHERSPOON: Aww, I wish I could enjoy some cereal, but it’s simply impossible!
— ..And Justin For All (@Staggfilms) October 17, 2017
You should prolly take a pregnancy test after touching my mullet.
— Chad Read (@squirrel74wkgn) October 18, 2017
My son needed a last-minute Halloween costume so I wrapped him like a mummy with my CVS receipt.
You can also scan him for $2 off Advil.
— 👻Sarcastic Mommy👻 (@sarcasticmommy4) October 18, 2017
Just got carpal tunnel from scrolling to my birth year in an online form.
— Rodney Lacroix (@moooooog35) October 26, 2017
Woman just sat directly across from me at an empty community table. That's more terrifying than anything I've seen on Stranger Things so far
— Kate Hall (@KateWhineHall) October 27, 2017
This night was going so perfectly until the remote fell off the bed.
— 👻Mattzilla™👻 (@mattZillaaaa) October 28, 2017
All of these tweets made me laugh. How about you?
Links to previous Funniest Tweets lists:
Want to read some of the BEST tweets about parenting from some of the funniest parents on Twitter? Check out The Bigger Book of Parenting Tweets, available on Amazon. Or the original, The Big Book of Parenting Tweets.